letters

i've loved writing letters since i was a kid. whenever we traveled, i wanted to write notes or send postcards back home (this is actually really funny to me because we were rarely gone long enough not to beat the letters home, and i rarely had anyone besides my grandparents to send letters to.) but i fell out of the habit as i got older. text messages and social media were easier. hollow, but easier. i don't think i'd mailed anything but a rent check and the occasional package in years.

then i got diagnosed in May of 2024, and my world shrank to the size of a hospital room for a month. if you've never spent an extended amount of time in the hospital... despite the sheer number of people in and out of your room all day and night, it's very lonely. my mom was able to stay with me for a few days at a time, and my friends and siblings visited when they could, but i felt so alone. i've always thought of myself as a kind of air plant, able to function without much in the way of support. but cancer broke that wide open. i think i cried myself to sleep for the first three nights.

but then the notes started to come in.

they were just little things, printed out from the hospital's e-card program, but they meant so much to me. i taped them to the cabinet doors in my room, so i could always see them from my bed. the initial round of induction chemotherapy took so much out of me that i couldn't reply, but it made me want to write back.

so when i finally got out of the hospital, i started writing-- thank you notes for people who donated or sent gifts, as well as silly, chattier notes.

these are the round of letters i sent out for Halloween 2024.

i have a big collection of cute stationery (with matching envelopes), colorful pens, and sticker books, but none of that is necessary. all you really need to get started are a writing utensil, some paper, an envelope, and a stamp.

one thing i still get in my head about is the idea that i don't have anything to write about. after all, i pretty much just commute from the James to my apartment and back, with the occasional hospitalization for flavor. but that hasn't stopped me. i'm not writing these for the future archive. this is just a way to reach out to the people i care about.

things i've put in my letters

• fun orca facts
• book and movie recs
• funny things i overheard at the hospital
• memories of things we did together before i got sick
• story ideas
• places i'd like to go when i'm in remission
• tattoo ideas
• quotes from what i'm reading
• very short stories

the aforementioned sticker book collection.

the other wonderful thing about sending letters is getting letters in response. i keep all the letters and cards i've been sent in a shoe box (i will come up with a more permanent solution at some point), and i go through it whenever i need a pick me up. people have written me back on antique typewriters, plain notebook paper, and grocery store greeting cards.

all of them make me so happy.